Helping your spouse or partner adjust to a relocation.
When the decision is made to relocate to a new city, keep in mind that your spouse or partner will face hard personal and career choices. Additionally, many of the responsibilities associated with the move will fall on the trailing spouse or partner, as the person being relocated is often finalizing work duties at the old office or learning a new position.
By adhering to the advice below, you can help your spouse or partner cope with the move and successfully transition to your new home.
- Communicate. Keep each other informed of the things that need to be done for the relocation. If everyone knows and understands the timelines and benefits, the move will likely be a successful one.
- Inquire about a company's employee assistance program (EAP). Many EAPs offer spousal assistance for job searches, child care alternatives and advice, educational resources, and stress management.
- Support the career search of your spouse or partner.
- Seek the advice of a career counselor.
- Apply to a headhunter.
- Prepare the resume and reference letters before the actual move. Then you can apply to positions as soon as possible.
- Develop a list of job prospects, possible employers, and networking opportunities.
- Join or volunteer with organizations that will allow you to meet new people and network.
- Continue participating in activities you enjoy. If fitness is important, consider joining a nearby health club.
- Identify a support system, and find people you can talk to when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Helping your children adjust to a relocation.
Change can be stressful for anyone – especially children. Moving to a new neighborhood, new city, or new state will require that they change homes, schools, and friends. But a move can provide an excellent opportunity to teach children how to adapt to change and learn the skills and strategies that will be useful later in life.
Use the following tips to help ease the transition and position your upcoming move as an exciting opportunity:
- Listen to your children and encourage open conversation. Be sensitive to fears, sadness, and confused emotions.
- Include your children in planning the move by going house-hunting or exploring your new city as a family.
- Help your children learn about the new area.
- Playact with dolls, boxes, and a wagon to give children a feeling of "moving."
- Let your children help decide how their new rooms will be arranged and decorated.
- Encourage your children to exchange addresses and phone numbers with their friends.
- Prepare a package containing snacks, clothing, and a few favorite toys for the move.
- Take a "family break" as soon as the major unpacking is done. Don't try to do everything when you arrive.
- Spend time after the move listening to each child talk about new schools and new friends. Follow progress in new schools. Accompanying your children to school for the first few days may ease tension.
- Report any lingering abnormalities (e.g., loss of appetite, insomnia, constipation, diarrhea, and menstrual disorders) to a doctor.
- Prepare children for the new situations they will likely face with a move from a suburban area to a rural one (or vice versa).
Want to show your children how exciting a move can be? Spend a few minutes watching an animated movie together. Jimmy's Journey is a short story about a boy and his move experience.
Helping your entire family with the transition.
To ensure a healthy transition, the entire family must adjust to the differences in the new location. Your life is going to change – daily routines, schools, friendships, and even the landscape that surrounds you. How you plan and manage the move can determine whether the
relocation is scary or exciting.
- Be positive when speaking about the relocation. Convey genuine excitement about the new house, new schools, new community, and new opportunities – but don't go overboard with cheerleading.
- Stay in touch with friends and neighbors. Take lots of pictures before you leave. Consider having a goodbye party with friends, family, and neighbors, and/or visit your favorite restaurant one last time.
- As you settle into your new home, keep the same traditions. If you always went out for pizza on Thursday night, resume this activity as soon as possible. Organize the refrigerator the same way.
- Jump into your new city feet first – a proactive approach to getting to know your new surroundings will help generate a sense of familiarity and eliminate your family's hesitation.
- Make an effort to meet neighbors.
- If you're religious, find a place of worship within a month of moving.
- Join organizations and clubs to meet others with similar interests.